How to Trust Your Story and Your Voice

Do you ever find yourself holding back while writing your memoir, worried that people won’t understand—or worse, that they’ll judge you? If so, you’re not alone. Many aspiring memoirists get trapped in the cycle of overexplaining: justifying every choice, spelling out every emotion, and softening their story to make it “acceptable.”

Here’s the truth: overexplaining kills your story. It flattens the emotion, drains the energy, and masks the voice that only you can bring to the page. Your readers don’t need footnotes or defenses—they need truth, raw and real.

Why We Overexplain

Overexplaining often comes from fear:

  • Fear of judgment: “If people don’t know why I did this, they’ll think less of me.”

  • Perfectionism: “It has to be exact, or it won’t make sense.”

  • People-pleasing: “I want everyone to like my story, so I’ll make it digestible.”

But the more you try to explain, the less your story breathes. Memoir isn’t a report or a courtroom brief—it’s a declaration of your life, your choices, your truth.

Think about why we respond to art or music. Why does a song hit us in the gut? Because it’s honest, even if it’s messy or unconventional. Your memoir works the same way. Emotion over explanation. Truth over justification.

How Overexplaining Shows Up in Your Writing

If you’re overexplaining, you might notice:

  • Over-polishing: Trying to make every word perfect kills the story’s energy.

  • Self-censoring: Avoiding key events or emotions out of fear.

  • Second-guessing everything: Rewriting or deleting scenes because they feel “too much.”

The fear is real—but letting it dictate your writing is optional. You can choose courage instead.

How to Stop Overexplaining

Here’s how to reclaim your story and trust your voice:

1. Trust your instincts

Write the messy, emotional, or contradictory scenes first. Worry about context later.

2. Focus on the scene, not the audience

Describe what you saw, heard, and felt—don’t narrate what the reader “should” understand.

3. Use specificity, not explanation

Small, concrete details carry emotional weight. Instead of saying “I was scared,” describe trembling hands, a racing heartbeat, or the bitter taste in your mouth. The reader will feel it without a paragraph explaining it.

Quick Exercises to Practice

Try these today to start trusting your story:

Scene First: Pick a memory you’ve been tempted to overexplain. Write only what you saw, heard, and felt—no context, no justification.

One-Word Check: After writing a paragraph, underline any words that feel “explaining.” Could you remove them and still convey the emotion?

Audience Disconnect Test: Imagine your reader knows nothing about you. Does the scene still hit emotionally? If yes, you’re on the right track.

Trust Your Voice

Writing authentically is an act of courage. When you write your truth without overexplaining:

  • You reclaim your narrative instead of letting fear control it.

  • You inspire others to tell their stories.

  • You build confidence in your unique voice.

Start small. Choose a scene that feels “safe enough” to write, but write it fully. Then, tackle bigger truths. Courage compounds that way.

Your Challenge This Week

Pick one scene you’ve been overexplaining and strip it down. Write it raw. No footnotes, no justifications, no backstory—just you in the moment.

And if you want support along the way:

Remember: your story deserves your full trust. Your voice is stronger than any explanation. Show up boldly. Write honestly. And let your story do the work.


You don’t need to explain your story. You need to trust your voice.

Kerry Kriseman