The Real Reason Your Memoir Feels Overwhelming
If you've ever sat down to write your memoir and wondered where to start, which stories deserve a place in the book, or how you’re even going to sift through all of the memories, you’re not alone.
The most common mistake aspiring memoir writers make is trying to write their entire life story. If you’re trying to do that, you’re writing an autobiography, which is vastly different than a memoir.
Most aspiring memoirists think they must document everything that happened to them, including their entire childhood, familial relationships, every challenge, and every victory. That is list-making, not memoir.
The hallmark of a memoir is the transformation that happened - how you changed, what you learned, why it matters - during a specific period of time.
If you try to put every moment into your memoir, you’ll confuse your reader. Your reader needs to arrive at your story because of the promise you make. What that means is when you decide to tell your story through memoir, you’re inviting a reader into your world. You’re authentically and with vulnerability telling them what happened, what you endured, what you learned, and what it means for them. Not in those exact terms, but through the curation of selected moments throughout the time period where you went from point A to point B.
Remember: Your memoir is not about everything that happened to you. It's about what changed you.
The strongest memoirs revolve around transformation. They explore a question, a challenge, a season of growth, or a defining experience that shaped who the author became.
Readers don't connect to timelines.; they connect to the change in the writer that is shared with them through the stories that all live in the same thread that supports the overall theme of the story.
When you identify the transformation at the center of your story, something powerful happens. The thousands of memories competing for attention begin to organize themselves.
Some stories move the journey forward. Some don't. Some become essential scenes. Others become background information. Learning the difference is one of the most important skills a memoir writer can develop.
Instead of asking, "How do I tell my whole life story?" ask:
What changed me?
What challenged me?
What transformed me?
What defining moment still echoes through my life today?
The answers often reveal the memoir you've been trying to write all along. The goal isn't only to document, which is important, but not in memoir. The goal is to impart meaning, to justify and make a case for why you’re telling this particular story.
Meaning is where great memoir begins.
Question for you: What's one defining moment in your life that still shapes who you are today?
If you’re thinking about writing a memoir, or are in the middle of a writing project, I invite you to join my free Facebook group, Memoir Magic for Aspiring Authors. Click here to join. I can’t wait to welcome you in and help you tell the story only ou can tell.