Write the Scene, Not the Story: How to Stop Overthinking and Start Writing Your Memoir
If you’ve been circling your story like a plane that never quite lands, this is your runway. In this blog post, I’m going to share a 10-minute strategy to learn - then practice - how to write the scene, not the story. This is a simple but powerful way to get unstuck and start writing your memoir today.
Why Memoir Writers Get Stuck (and How to Move Past It)
You sit down to write your life story, and suddenly your brain turns into a project manager on espresso.
You start thinking:
Where does my story begin?
Do I have enough material?
What if no one cares?
And before you know it, you’ve spent an hour rearranging Post-its, color-coding trauma, and not writing a single word.
Here’s what I want you to believe with your whole heart: You don’t need to write the whole story right now.
You just need to write one story — one scene — that holds truth, tension, and texture.
Every memoir is made of scenes, and every scene is a door into the larger story. Open one door, and another will follow. Momentum starts small, but those small steps build into something beautiful.
What It Really Means to “Write the Scene”
Let’s pause and remember: your memoir isn’t just a list of events. That’s a timeline. Memoir is meaning. It’s reflection. It’s the heartbeat beneath the facts. When I say “write the scene,” here’s what I mean: Pick a vivid memory. Think of one moment where something shifted inside you or around you.
It doesn’t have to be the most dramatic event of your life. It just has to mean something.
Think of a time you:
Heard the truth, even when it hurt.
Made a choice you couldn’t take back.
Felt seen (or invisible) for the first time.
Realized who you really were.
Close your eyes. Drop into that moment.
What could you see, hear, smell, taste, or touch?
Who else was there?
What happened, and how did it make you feel?
That’s your starting line. Forget chapters, timelines, or whether it “fits.” Just write that one moment like you’re watching it unfold on film. Think of your memoir as a conversation with one person. What do you want him or her to know. Envision your extended arm, offering your hand to the reader, saying, “Come with me. I have something to share with you, and I’m going to show you what it meant to me and why it matters to you.”
The 10-Minute Scene-Writing Exercise
Here’s your quick win, and your permission to stop waiting for inspiration and start writing now.
Set a timer for 10 minutes and choose one of these prompts (or write your own):
The moment everything changed.
The last time you said nothing when you should have spoken.
The moment you realized you were wrong about someone — or they were wrong about you.
The first time you felt safe in your own skin.
Then write the scene. No backstory. No explaining. No future commentary. Just focus on:
Sensory detail: What did the world look and feel like?
Emotional truth: What was really going on inside you?
Action: What happened?
When the timer goes off, stop. Don’t edit. Don’t reread. Notice and appreciate that you did it. You wrote a scene. That’s the secret to every great memoir. Write one honest moment at a time, and they add up to your rich, compelling, authentic memoir.
From Scattered Scenes to a Cohesive Story
Once you’ve written a few scenes, patterns emerge. Themes begin to reveal themselves — loss, resilience, forgiveness, identity.
That’s when you can start shaping your story. But remember: you can’t shape what doesn’t exist. Start with what does. If you write one scene a week, that’s 52 scenes in a year. You could write your memoir without even realizing you’ve started. Small steps lead to big stories. One truth at a time.
Choosing the Right Scenes for Your Memoir
If you’re wondering how to choose the scenes to write first, start by thinking about your memoir’s focus.
Memoir is a slice of your life, not your entire autobiography. It’s a snapshot from a meaningful season, a story of transformation, survival, resilience, forgiveness, or faith.
Ask yourself:
How did I change?
Why does it matter?
What does my reader need to know?
Then, make a list. Use your Notes app, a Google doc, Post-its, or a whiteboard. Organize possible chapters or moments. Some will stay, others will fade, but you’ll begin to see the structure of your story emerge.
These “micro stories” are the threads of your larger narrative. They’re the scenes that give your memoir color, depth, and heart.
Final Thoughts: Write the Scene, Not the Story
If you’ve been staring at a blank page, waiting for the perfect beginning, consider this your sign to stop waiting and start writing.
Remember: write the scene, not just the story.
Even if your story feels big, beautiful, and impossible-to-outline, it will come to life one scene at a time. You don’t have to tell it perfectly. You just have to start telling it.
I’d love to hear how this is helpful for you. Tag me on Instagram @kerry.kriseman, or find me on Facebook at Kerry Kriseman, Author, Inspirer, Educator.
Let’s make some memoir magic together.
Resources for you:
Tools For Writers
Making Memoir Magic Podcast
What’s Your Memoir Roadblock? Take my 2-minute quiz and learn what’s keeping you from writing and how to fix it.